The Naked Jade Carver

The "Hatchling" is Born

The “Hatchling” has appeared, and all scaring healed, from the recent cosmetic surgery performed by one of the finest minor master jade artists in the world, ”The Reverend” under the ever watchful eye of the most famous and renowned of all Jade Carvers in the Universe, the “Naked Jade Carver”. The Hatchling was first conceived by the Reverend as he drew inspiration from the famous Companion “Baby Draco” (see Friends Of The Naked Carver Carver), who himself, along-with the Fleeting “Torso” and the “Jade MuskOx”, fought ferociously and without total personal regard for danger during the final battle against insidious evil in Transylvania. The resulting Hatchling is now “set in stone” as a result of the skillful wielding of the grinder and polisher at the hands of the Reverend with minor assistance from the mystical Master of all Jade Artists, the Naked Jade Carver.

The "Hatchling" - Rear View

The Hatchling - Side View

Naked Jade Forced To Secret Monastic Retreat

 An exclusive photo has just been released to us revealing the Our Hero – The Naked Jade being rushed to a top secret monastic retreat after a recent bout with the denizens that have plagued his convalescent tour of Europe and the Transylvanian Alps. Home to the Reverend’s European Retreat, the lil’ Naked Jade was progressing superbly after  his cosmetic surgery performed in the US by the minor master, The Reverend under the tutelage of the Greatest Master Jade Artist of Nephrite and Jadeite the world has ever known – The Naked Jade Carver. After a previous deadly engagement, and total defeat of, the ageless vampires and werewolves that have been cowardly attacking our Naked Jade on his nightly constitutional forays into the nearby peaceful village of Nephritia, The Naked Jade, The Reverend and The Naked Jade Carver barely escaped the evil clutches that lurked in the shadows of the quaint little Vampirina Inn. While it has been reported the Wyoming Black, Naked Jade was only mildly being attended to by the buxom beauties of the local Inn, the insidious creatures of darkness pounced upon our heroic group as they were saying their goodbyes before boarding a private charter to Milan and then on to Paris. It was relayed to us the three famous “Companions” (see Friends of the Naked Jade Category) to the Naked Jade rallied to save the day and and the ensuing battle devastated the forces of evil so bent on the total destruction of our Heroes. Fearing for the very lives of our National Treasures the US Government sent their finest undercover troops to guard the heroic group at the Secret Monastery and fly them back to safety via ultra – double secret transport back to hallowed ground. It has also been reported that the next planned continuation of the amazing transformational cosmetic surgery will be performed at the studio of another one of America’s finest minor master Jade Artists – “The Mage”.

Naked Jade Carver And Naked Jade In Grave Peril

Naked Jade Convalescing In Transylvania's Alps

 Following a mostly uneventful private flight via Secret Government Transport the brave little Naked Jade and the Master of all Jade Artists – The Naked Jade Carver are enjoying their well deserved “down time” in the minor master Reverend’s Home Country of Beautiful Romania and the Transylvanian Alps. While it has been reported that the Naked Jade has been a bit of his usual naughty self,  by breaking free of the chaperoning nephrite jade guards hired to protect both himself and the Naked Jade Carver some amazing restraint has been noticed in the Naked Jade while he convalesces after being ‘Under the Grinder’  in the extensive surgery performed under the watchful eye of the Master of all Jade Artists – Naked Jade Carver. While it has been reported the Naked Jade spent some hours unaccounted for and was subsequently rescued from the clutches of a few buxom barmaids in a local tavern, all in all, the horrible scaring is starting to heal naturally and every attempt at a restful, and health food oriented recovery is being made. While resting at the Reverend’s in his Beloved Transylvanian Retreat it has been confirmed that while the Naked Jade is a bit more rambunctious, our Master of all Jade Carvers – The Naked Jade Carver is still in his reclusive mode, and while practicing his amazing metaphysical skills, is managing to avoid contact with any remaining Werewolves and Vampires.

Naked Jade Braves The Climb To Vlad's Castle

Naked Jade Fearlessly Entering The Vampire's Castle

Top, Double Secret, Photos have just come in showing The Master of all Jade Carvers - The Naked Jade Carver himself risking life and appendages putting out a fire at the Reverends retreat. This amazing show of pure unselfish  bravery was said to have perhaps saved the entire retreat. The fire is reputed to have been ‘accidentally’ set by our mischievous  little Naked Jade while still in a bit a of a stupor following his cosmetic surgery. It was reported to us by an anonymous source the lil’ imp of a Nephrite Jade was trying to sneak a smoke after surgery a bit too close to the pure oxygen tank. However, it appears our Hero at Large – The Greatest Jade and Jadeite Artist of all time saved the day (not to mention the Reverends fabulous Sierra Nevada Retreat), with total disregard to his personal safety, undergoing stresses we mortals could scarcely imagine. The perils of life often hang in delicate balance. We have been assured that everyone involved, including the finely outfitted nurse on demand, were unscathed in the ‘accident’, and all have left for their well needed rest and recuperation on their Tour of Europe, by private charter. 

Naked Jade Released From Surgery

Finally, the extensive, three day surgery is over and the post-op recovery was ”routine”, as one the finely outfitted nurses so remarked. The apprehensive world can at least, for now, relax. Performed by the ever rising star, “The Reverend”, under the watchful eye of the most skilled Master Jade Carver to have ever lived – The Naked Jade Carver, the surgery was deemed by his “Highness of Jade Artists” to be a phenomenal success. the picture above shows a “Chipper” Wyoming Nephrite Naked Jade relaxing and catching some rays while resting on one of his Nephritic cousins who had waited, amongst other anxious Nephrite Jades for news of the outcome. As a guest of the Reverend both the Naked Jade and the Master Naked Jade Carver will start on their personally guided tour of Europe with plan still a closely guarded secret. The world will all join in wishing the Naked Jade only the best in his recovery efforts, knowing full well the extent of trauma he must have sustained while being under the “grinder’ for so many days.

This first exclusive photo of the Naked Jade, preparing for his Cosmetic Surgery, was taken by the Anesthetist right before the minor master “The Reverend” fired up the “Grinder” to begin the extensive surgery. Under the watchful eye of the Greatest of all Jade Carvers – The Naked Jade Carver, this brave Wyoming Nephrite Jade bucked up like a good little buckeroo; summoning all his Nephritic Strength and Fibrous Intensity for the grueling battle with this near death experience. The  Naked Jade Carver (Master of all Jade Artists) was himself in a trance like state of meditation praying for Reverend’s steady hands and sharpened diamond saw as the entire proceedings were conducted under utmost secrecy at the Reverends Most Blessed Retreat.

The Naked Jade Doing Some Serious Work

It seems the Reverend and the Master of All Jade Artists – The Naked Jade Carver have finally gotten the Naked Jade in line and have him in work-out mode. With the world’s attention focused on the famous tour and the next step in his coming cosmetic surgery, to be performed by the minor master “The Reverend” and being overseen by his Great Nakedness, the Naked Jade is finally out of party mode and getting in some much needed exercise. Surgery is scheduled to start this coming Thursday afternoon at 3 PM sharp, to be followed by a Tour of Europe as the Naked Jade convalesces following his being under the “grinder”. Let us all pray in our own way for a successful surgery and speedy recovery for this special Nephrite Jade.

Naked Jade Hard at Work Milling Lumber at the Retreat

Naked Jade Just Plain Goofing Off

As peoples across the world were fully expecting the exciting newest transformation, from his timely planned cosmetic surgery, under the hands of the of the budding carver, the “Reverend” and with the Great Master of all Jade Carving Artists – The Naked Jade Carver Himself – overseeing the surgery, what we have her is exclusive photos of the Naked Jade relaxing a bit too much instead of going under the knife as planned. Without the managing Director of the Infamous World Tour to guide its every step it seems that the Naked Jade is out of control once again frolicking in the High Sierras at the Reverends retreat. Satellite communications are underway to correct this dereliction of duty and get the surgery re-scheduled in a timely manner. We are also currently trying to locate the Great Naked Carver himself for an up-lifting talk to keep the schedule on the “Up and Up”. It seems an Admin’s job is never done and a swift kick in the arse may be needed. This is one hard to control Nephrite Jade.

Naked Jade Frolicking In the High Sierras

Naked Jade in High Sierra's of California

Enjoying the first leg of the now Renowned World Tour, the Naked Jade is spotted relaxing in the High Sierras with some of his jade cousins at the Reverends retreat before undergoing cosmetic surgery in the hands of “Georg the Great”, and under the tutelage of the Greatest of all Jade Artists from time immemorial – The Naked Jade Carver himself, before the start of the next surgical carving that will transform this spectacular piece of Wyoming Black Jade into the combined masterpiece of the most famous Jade Carvers from around the globe. The Naked Jade enjoys a quiet moment reflecting on his moutainest past and his World Tour to visit his Jade and Jadeite cousins around the world. With a spot of tea provided by the Reverend (it is reportedly spiked a bit by the Naked Jade himself), he steadies his nerves for the coming undressing from the Great Jade Carvers’ touch before his whirlwind tour of Europe. 

The First “Big Leg” of the Infamous World Tour of the Naked Jade Carver and the Naked Jade has begun with their arrival High in the Sierra’s of California at the Private Sanctuary of the Reverend (a Minor-Master Jade & Jadeite Artist in his own right). The Reverend while possessing some remarkable skills will be working diligently with the The Naked Carver refining his skills using some the Master’s Secret Naked Jade Carving Techniques on the Naked Jade itself and perhaps some “Buffing” techniques will be observed as well. The Reverend is in the process of planning an extended trip to Europe where he grew up as a poor starving wanna be in rural Transylvania, where his Budding Genius took Root. With the accompanying Baby “Draco” companion they are planning a whirlwind tour of Europe and Transylvania’s Alps.