The Naked Jade Carver

Naked Jade – Forever Moving Forward In His Quest For Knowledge & Beauty

Khotan White (yingyu) & Khotan Black Jade Speaking Nephritese With Naked Jade

Our Hero – the Lil’ Naked Jade has disappeared in the dead of night from his desert haunts where he was recuperating from his latest battle of extensive cosmetic surgery (with the help of a coupla’ cold ones) at the magical hands of the great minor master jade artist – The Mage and his newest creation “Omphalos – The Great Navel of the Universe”. Oh, how we all enjoyed his esoteric ramblings, brought back from the depths of “Cosmic Solitude”, as he pondered his way through the quagmire of hidden truths in search of the true meaning of the very essence of life’s creative forces. Led by the True Master of all Jade Carvers – The Naked Jade Carver himself, our now internationally-known Wyoming Black Naked Jade has forced himself to leave the comfort of his desert soliterical retreat and his closest nephritic friends from British Columbia and the Khotan-Hetian Region of Chinese Jade, to embark on yet another Giant Step of Conscience and to venture out where no Nephrite Jade has gone before – to the wilds of Southern Mexico, right next to the very scary and fearsome Jungle of Solitude and Shamanic Unknown. This time to brave the very essence of the Ancient Knowledge under the grinder of the next great minor master “The Shaman”.

Naked Jade Expounding On 'Life's Truths' In Cancun

While in search of his great-great cousins, the Jadeites of Guatemala, and the shamanic truths of his Pre-Columbian family, our hero The Naked Jade took some well deserved ‘time-out’ to relax under the warm Cancun sun and meet with some of the ‘Local Color’ of the area. While unsubstantiated and irresponsible rumors were being bandied about which put our nearly almost-perfect, soundly entrenched, metaphysically complete Naked Jade amongst some of the more ’seedy’ elements of island society, it is with a very firm conviction that this reporter’s ’sources’ reveal that this is indeed not the case, as both the Naked Jade and his Great Mentor ~ The Naked Jade Carver ~ were far from these ‘dens of iniquity’ and were merely and meekly meeting with the local inhabitants, and gathering huge crowds. These crowds could possibly attest to the road our heros ‘teachings’ followed as they strove to bring holiday cheer and metaphysical awareness to these further additions of the Jade Family, and ‘island-hoppers’ in general. It is with this Universal Consciousness, which has recently entrenched our Naked Jade solidly on the side of righteousness and total awareness of the Great Nephritic Truths, so dearly and sacredly acquired through very dangerous paths and all kinds of stuff, that this humble little rock travels amidst the irresponsible and rumor-mongering hoards of ne’er-do-wells and the not-so-very-nice ‘Others’ who are seemingly trying to slanderize both the Naked Jade and The Master of All Jade Artists – The Naked Jade Carver himself.

Naked Jade Asking Directions From A Local Guide In Cancun

With the holiday season approaching, the innocence and sincerity of our Naked Jade springs forth after all he has withstood under the onslaughts of the ‘evil forces’, which have tried to dissuade him from his seemingly divinely inspired path to bring us all hope, good will and cheer. What Magic and Mastery of creativity will the inspired genius of the The Shaman (under the ever present and watchful gaze of the finest jade carver that ever lived – The Naked Jade Carver) render upon the ever brave, tender-hearted little Wyoming Black Nephrite Jade in his next bout with cosmetic surgery and meta-sugical awareness? The doors are shut tight on the design aspects of what will be days, if not weeks, of creativity in the surgical lab with two of the finest sculptors the world has ever known. Will this new death-defying surgical procedure render the same amazing  physical and metaphysical results as we have seen occur under the grinders and polishers of the ever-growing minor master artisans in jade, The Reverend & The Mage ? Just how much further can the nephritic spirit grow in awareness and sensitivity? Stay tuned for more of this amazing transformation from poor nephritic outcrop farm-boy to sophisticated world traveler versed in the cosmic knowledge of the Ancients.

The Reporter