The Naked Jade Carver

 In the extreme, heightened excitement following the World Shattering News of the Naked Jade appearing at a most prestigious and historical conference on the the elite Harvard Campus, it was reported he would be the “keynote” speaker. It has been learned through Ultra-Double-Secret Government sources that our Hero at Large will be presented with the Esteemed Honorific Degree of Nephritic Spokesman of the Year. While it has been learned that all the Eastern Seaboard flights are booked to capacity and Hotel lodgings are scarce from Maine to North Carolina in anticipation of this most Gala Event, The Master of All Jade Carvers – The Naked Jade Carver himself,  is in the midst of Fasting and Deep Metaphysical contemplation on his navel (said to be the true center of genius in this most most prolific of Jade Artists). With the upcoming, extremely dangerous cosmetic surgery to be performed by the second minor master, “The Mage”, under the direct supervision of his “Highness” – The Naked Jade Carver, great pains are being taken to assure the safety of our National Hero – The Naked Jade. True to form our lil’ Wyoming Black Jade “Buckaroo” is taking it all in stride and is said to be looking forward to his upcoming awards  ceremony and Medal of Distinction presentation. Several of the finest waitresses on the East Coast are expected to be on hand to facilitate the festivities, and a “rousing” good time is expected by all.

Dining Hall For After Acceptance Festivities

 Following what is expected to be one of the finest lectures ever “exposed” on the “Secret Nephritic Society” and The Tight and Fibrous Bond of the Ageless Ones, dinner will be served in the rather unobtrusive dinning hall, more in line with the reclusive Naked Jade Carver and his penchant for reclusiveness.While many Heads of State are expected to attend, it will most assuredly be the Naked Jade himself breezing his way through the crowds of Upper Crust Fashion in the easy-going manner to which he was so becoming accustomed to on his recent Tour of Europe. There are all the usual rumors of the President and his lovely family showing up for what easily could be The Social Event  of the Season. With the Gala event less than a week away, the entire East Coast, United States, and indeed the entire World await the glorious day and night’s festivities.

Naked Jade Carver Steadies His Amazing Nerves